


In my darkest hour, in the dead of night

by Persie



Series: The storm is raging against us now [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Death, Grief, Hurricanes, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persie/pseuds/Persie
Summary: A hurricane hits Nevis. Alex loses his brother.





	1. Thunder, feel the thunder

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that I found whilst clearing out my google docs. I wrote it back in February. 
> 
> I'm pretty sure this was actually what I was going to start TTWWR with but decided against it at some point.
> 
> Enjoy!

Alex was ripped from sleep by a bright flash of lightning and the loudest boom of thunder he had ever heard. Groggily, he pushed himself into a sitting position, resting against the headboard. The room lit up with another flash of lightning and Jemmy startled at the clap of thunder that accompanied it.

“I just want to sleep,” He moaned, shoving his head under the pillow. Alex giggled. “It’s not funny, Al, I’m exhausted.”

He groaned as there was yet again another clap of thunder and hurled his pillow across the room in frustration before he slumped back against the mattress. Alex knew that Jemmy worked hard in order to be able to pay the rent for the house that they were staying in and he felt bad for his brother that Jemmy had been working all day and couldn’t even get a good night's sleep before he had to work tomorrow. Pushing back their blanket, Alex retrieved the pillow for him and placed it back on the bed, earning a mumbled thanks.

“I’m just going to check the main room,” Alex said as he moved away from the bed and opened the door. Recently, there had been a leak in the roof and they had been waking up to find that their floor was soaked. Sure enough, it was leaking again. “What do I do if it’s leaking?!”

“There’s a bucket under the sink, use that to catch the water.” Jemmy called back and Alex did as he was told before returning to their bedroom.

He crawled under the blanket and Jemmy wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Both of them were tired but neither of them were going to be able to sleep with the amount of noise coming from the outside. Even the windows had started to rattle and the rain was slamming into them with a surprised force, only adding to the cacophony.

“When’re you going to let me drop out of school like you did?” Alex asked desperate to distract himself from the storm which seemed to be getting stronger and stronger which was, in turn, making him anxious. “I want to be able to help out.”

“I’m not letting you, Al,” Jemmy answered. “You need your education; it’ll get you places. I’m the oldest as that means that it’s my responsibility to look after you and right now that means that I have to work in order to afford the house. I’m 17, I only had a year left. You’re 9.”

“But –”

“No, Al,” Jemmy cut him off. “I’m in charge and that means you have to do as I say. That means you stay in school. Mama wouldn’t want you to drop out.”

“Mama wouldn’t want you to drop out either.” Alex retorted.

“Mama would understand why I had to drop out,” Jemmy shrugged, fighting to be heard over the storm. “Sometime you have to do things –”

Outside there was a large crash and screams that somehow rose above the roaring wind. Alex stayed put on the bed as Jemmy rushed across the room and peered out of the window.

“Get under the bed, Al,” he said shakily. “Quickly!” The yell was laced with panic and Alex practically dived under the bed.

Jemmy joined him seconds after and Alex clung to him, sobbing into his shirt. Jemmy was panicking, Alex could tell, but he was trying to keep it together for Alex, reassuring him. But Alex was absolutely terrified and no amount of reassurance was going to calm him down as long as the storm was raging on.

And outside there were more screams and more crashed and it didn’t take long for Alex to piece together what was happening; houses were falling. This was something stronger and far more dangerous than the storms that they usually got. Now it made sense why Jemmy had made him hide under the bed. He wasn’t sure that it would help if the house fell down, but they were trying.

At several points during the night, debris smashed all the windows, sending glass flying everywhere. Every time, Alex would begin to sob louder and Jemmy tried to calm him down. But water was starting to get in and that was just making Alex panic even more. Jemmy held him tightly, rubbing his back gently just like their mama used to do.

The storm had relented but it hadn’t quite stopped by the time morning came. Alex wasn’t panicking anymore, absolutely exhausted and limp in Jemmy’s arms. Now that the noise wasn’t so loud he was drifting in and out of sleep.

But he was awoken from a short nap this time by Jemmy’s agitated voice.

“Get out, Al!” He was shouting, pushing Alex out from under the bed. “Go!”

“What?” Alex frowned, getting to his feet. “Jemmy –”

“Why won’t you listen to me?! I told you to get out!” Jemmy yelled, starting to shove some of their things in a backpack.

“But I don’t want to leave you!” Alex cried. Jemmy put down the backpack and crossed the room, pulling Alex into a hug. “Come with me Jemmy!”

“I’ll catch you up, but you’ve got to go now and run as far as you can–” he pulled away from the hug and resumed what he was doing just as the house gave an extremely loud creak that Alex was sure wasn’t supposed to be happening. “ _Alexander! Fucking go_! I'm not messing around!”

And Alex sprinted out of the bedroom and to the door, out into the pouring rain. He stumbled down the porch steps, his eyes falling upon but not processing the chaos and damage all around him. He had barely made it into the street when the house fell behind him. Knocked forward, Alex was met with a mouthful of cold water and pain as his leg was pinned under a piece of rubble.

But Alex’s mind wasn’t on himself. He spluttered and coughed up as much of the water as he could and then managed to pull his leg out after a couple of agonising minutes. He could still (barely) walk on it so he decided that it wasn’t too hurt. But there were screams coming from the rubble. Jemmy, screaming Alex’s name, his voice strained. Jemmy was trapped.

Alex clawed at the rubble desperately. He didn’t know how long for but he continued after Jamie stopped screaming. He continued until his hands were bleeding from the amount of scrapes and splinters he received and his hands hurt but it didn’t stop him.

The Red Cross stopped him. They pulled him away from the rubble despite his protests and screams. Alex fought against them as hard as he could for being injured, tired, hungry and dehydrated but it was to no avail.

“You can’t take me away from Jemmy!” He screamed as they dragged him away.

But they could and they did and Alex never saw Jemmy again. He just had to take solace in the fact that he was with their mama now. But that didn't make it any easier.


	2. There's tears we'll cry, but those tears will fade

Alex shut down once the house was out of view. One of the Red Cross workers had stayed behind, waiting for another set of people to arrive and help them sort through the rubble. The others were taking him somewhere.

He stopped screaming and fighting against his rescuers. They were asking him questions but Alex didn’t answer, staring blankly at the sky as they carried him to wherever he was being taken. He wasn’t quite sure where they were going but it didn’t matter to him. Nothing and no one mattered anymore. Jemmy and mama were dead and Alex’s couple of friends probably were too. They passed their houses and they too were piles of rubble.

The only person left that Alex actually cared about was his father, but he hadn’t seen him since he stormed out and it wasn’t like the man cared about him. Besides, Alex had no idea whether his father was still on Nevis or not so he could have been dead too. Maybe Alex was cursed. Everyone he cared about ended up dying before they were supposed to and it was always Alex’s fault.

The sickness his mama died from? He caught it from Alex. Jemmy killed by the rubble? It was because Alex had left him and because Alex couldn’t get him out on time.

He was taken to a small camp that the Red Cross had set up. It was just a series of tents and it wouldn’t stand if another storm like the one they had just witnessed decided to hit again. They would all be dead.

He was taken to the makeshift hospital, the wailing and screaming worse than the sound of the storm in Alex’s mind. He was placed on a bed, his injured leg stretched out in front of him. A worker brought him a water bottle and a cup of soup. He hadn’t realised just how thirsty he had become until he took a sip of the water and ended up drinking the whole bottle almost in one go. But he didn’t touch the soup.

Every time that Alex thought about eating his stomach churned. Did he even deserve it? He had left his brother. What if Jemmy was actually still alive? He was probably terrified but Alex had left him with a bunch of strangers.

The doctor who tended to Alex was nice. He looked at Alex’s leg and a cut on Alex’s head that Alex didn’t even know he had and patched them up. He gave him something for the pain and tried to coax him into taking just a few sips of the soup. Alex just stared at him, not completely listening to what he was saying. Eventually the man left and Alex drifted into an uneasy sleep.

But despite how tired he was, Alex was awake not long after. He couldn’t sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes for more than a minute the rain and the wind and the screaming would echo in his ears and he was awake. He needed Jemmy and his mama. They would know how to soothe him so that he could sleep.

It didn’t properly hit Alex that Jemmy was until one of the Red Cross workers told him the next morning.

“I’m sorry champ but we found your brother and –”

Alex didn’t need to hear the rest. His mind filled it in.

His eyes were watery, his chest tightening until his struggled to breathe. The only sound that he could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears, the din of the camp fading away. Jemmy was really dead and it was Alex’s fault. Alex should have stayed and he should have forced Jemmy out with him. He’d have still been injured like Alex was but he wouldn’t be dead.

When his mama died, Jemmy helped Alex through it. He would convince him to get out of bed and to eat something, convince him to clean himself up and take a bath or change his clothes. He was hurting too and there had been many an occasion when Jemmy broke down when he thought Alex was sleeping. He had been orphaned and suddenly he had to take on the responsibilities of a parent with looking after Alex. Whilst Alex was curled up under their bed covers sobbing his heart out, Jemmy was searching for a job and when he found one, threw himself into it, overworking himself completely.

But Alex didn’t have anyone to help him through this now other than complete strangers who didn’t know what he was feeling. He spent days miserable curled up on the bed, sobbing loudly at the loss of his brother. He woke up crying after he had passed out from exhaustion because Jemmy had been in his dream and he just wanted to hug his brother one more time.

“Would your brother want this?” A simple question from one of the Red Cross workers that was enough to get Alex to start eating and to attempt to break out of the shell of misery that he had confined himself in.

No. Jemmy wouldn’t want it and neither would his mama. They wouldn't want him to be miserable or to spend the majority of his time awake crying because he missed them so much. They would want him to be happy and at first, Alex wasn’t quite sure how. But he learned and he kept on living.

He still missed Jemmy and there wasn’t a day that went by that Alex didn’t think of him. He still felt guilty and he probably would for the rest of his life, but over the next couple of months he tried not to let it weigh him down.

Time didn’t heal as Alex found out. But it helped him learn to cope.


End file.
